Ungus - the Straight Poop

I asked Dad, "Why do we have to go on our morning walk so early?" He said that it is easier to teach Ungus things - read, 'good behavior', here - when he is hungry. His rewards mean more - are more memorable. Ungus' favorite treat is chicken jerky. Not that processed stuff - the real chicken in dehydrated strips. Dad breaks it up in tiny pieces and Ungus will do just about anything for a bit of that chicken. At least temporarily. Ungus is a big eater. He'll eat practically anything - and does. Bits of sticks, leaves and twigs, bark, paper, candles, anything that was once alive and now is dead, bottle caps, zombies (I don't even know what zombies are, but Mom says he'd probably chew on one), towel corners, ethernet cable (boy was Dad mad!), shoes, parts of rugs (usually rugs that used to be whole), little green apples (now that IS funny). He even likes regular dog food. Dry puppy food. From a bag! Mom says I was a picky eater. I didn't eat for three days when I first came to Mom and Dad. Mom panicked and thought I was going to starve! Thats how poached chicken got on the menu (HA!) I don't care much for dog food. I like people food better. For treats, though, where Ungus likes the chicken jerky, I like braunschwager. Whatever human invented that stuff, gets my vote! I love it. I learned all of my coolest tricks on the other end of a bit of braunschwager. I guess Ungus is just easier to please. At least that means that I still get all the braunschwager. What? Wait  WAIT!. No, Dad! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!