Sir Barksalot

Our neighbors have five dogs. They aren't very big - none of them are as big as me - but then that's how dogs think. I think I am bigger than the Irish wolfhound down the street, but Mom laughs when I tell her that. I wonder why. Anyhow, the neighbors got a Jack Russell terrier a couple of years ago. He's OK, but barks all the time, 'cause no one taught him that you don't have to bark all the time, cause after about the fiftieth time you barked that you 'had breakfast', no one is listening.

Then they got him a girlfriend. She is bigger than he is. Kind of fluffy with a curly tail and sort of dirty blond colored. She is MEAN! She bit me once and Mom cooled her off. She never has tried to bite me again, though. Maybe she thought it was me. Ha ha! But she barks all the time, too, and believe me, none of it is as interesting as what she might have had for breakfast. And she thinks Ungus would make a good breakfast, so he stays away from her.

Then they had three puppies. They are OK, but now they are all five barking - all the time.  Maybe they just want more attention. Dad tells the joke about a guy whose neighbor's dog barked all the time. Finally he said to his wife he, "couldn't stand it anymore," and ran outside. He came back in a minute later. His wife asked what he had done 'cause she could still hear the dog bark. He answered, "I put the dog in our yard - we'll see how they like it!" Then everyone laughs. I don't get it.

Mom and  Dad teach us, barking is OK - important, even, but it should have a real purpose. Like, if a burglar is "... going after the family heirlooms." I'm not sure what the family heirlooms are, but I am ready to bark at anyone who tries to take them. Ungus still does not know exactly what to bark at, yet, and when he gets really excited his bark gets higher and higher until it is just a squeaky toy sound. It's particularly annoying when something ordinary startles him and he sets off with a round of barking and no one can figure out what he is barking at. I ask him and he says, "It Moved!" I say what moved? He says,"I don't know, but it was moving." Great. "Bark Bark barkbarkbark           BARK BARK BAARK! No, Ungus - the garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.  sigh...